The Failure Patch

That's what I've started calling the fly patch on my fly fishing vest. You can usually tell how good the fishing was by how many flies are on my failure patch. If there are one or two, the fishing was pretty good. Three or four flies... I probably caught a couple. More than four: FAIL. No fish. Unless it's been a really long fishing day, but even then there are no guarantees.

Seth and I went out fishing on the Snake River over Thanksgiving break. The first day of fishing went well and we both caught several whitefish and a rainbow or two. The failure patch collected a couple flies, but remained pretty sparse for the most part. The second day of fishing did not fare so well. We both caught a couple fish during the span of several hours, but it took a lot of work to do so. By the looks of my failure patch, you'd think I came away skunked. Luckily the copper "Prince-of-a-Bugger" streamer I tied on to use while I made my way over to Seth when it was time to leave actually produced a nice rainbow. Good thing too. There wasn't much room left on my failure patch.

The Failure Patch

Oh and just for the record, I caught two fish at the same time. Two whitefish to be exact... one took my bitch creek nymph and the other took a green hornet. I am the master.

You'd look insane too, if you caught two fish at the same time.

Seth and a pervert brown. It got hooked in the butt.

Seth and his 17.5" brown. Got it right in the mouth with a white woolly bugger.

Today's Special: Pie Episode

I didn't make much this week as far as actual meals go, however I did make approximately 1 million pies. I've provided links below for those of you who might want to make some of them for yourself.

Blueberry Pie

This is from America's Test Kitchen. I used the same crust as is shown on the apple pie recipe. This pie rocks my world.

Deep-Dish Apple Pie

I've made this pie several times and it always turns out really good. Although, I prefer to double the cinnamon amount. Isn't it pretty?

Banana Cream Pie

I use the filling from this recipe and the banana graham crust from this recipe. This banana cream pie is seriously the best. Oh, and sprinkle a little lemon juice on the banana slices to keep them from going brown.

Key Lime Pie

Easiest pie in the whole world. Takes about 20 minutes to make from start to finish. I use this graham cracker crust. Also, don't bother using key limes, regular ones taste just as good. Actually the stuff in the bottle tastes good too, but I like to get the fresh limes so I can use the zest. Use 1 drop of green food coloring to make it look pretty, but not too fake and weird.

Never Weep Whipped Cream

I used this whipped cream on both the banana cream and key lime pies. One batch (using 1 pint of whipping cream) made enough for 2 pies. Tastes way better than Cool Whip.

Isosceles Cheese

So I was messing around on the Internets the other day and I went to Digg.com and saw this post/cartoon...

"An Open Letter to Subway" [Left Handed Toons]

Awesome. Except now I actually notice they do this and it bugs me when I watch them make my sandwich. It's a wonder I still go to Subways. What with Subway Jared, $5 footlong song, and now this... I don't know if I can handle much more.

p.s. Isosceles is hard to spell.

Nice Job, Water

All my life I've heard about the benefits of drinking water. Drink 8 glasses a day for radiant skin! It'll give you energy! Help you feel full! Plump up and moisturize lips! Keep the headaches away! And on and on.

Well I've been drinking a whole ton of water over the last few months and you know what benefits I've gotten? Maybe a couple burned calories from walking to the bathroom. Right now my lips are dry, my face has broken out (yes, I'm almost 30 years old, thank you), I have a headache, and I'm tired and hungry. Oh and I also have to pee.

Thanks Water. You're a real pal.

Visions of Pizzas

I had another Papa Murphy's dream last night. It's become a phenomenon I don't quite understand. Making pizzas was my very first job. I was 17, and to tell you the truth, making pizzas was one of the funnest jobs I've ever had. And I still have dreams about working there.

Actually the dreams are usually more like nightmares. I find myself out of a job and have to go back there to work or I go into a store on a busy night and stay to help them out because I feel sorry for them. There are always tons and tons of customers and everybody is getting pissed off because we're so backed up and can't make the pizzas fast enough. Or it's closing time and people just keep coming in.

Last night wasn't quite the nightmare the Papa Murphy's dreams usually are. I'd gone back there to work and I still had my same amazing pizza making skills. I was surprised that I could still remember what went in a calzone and how to roll the edges. And all of my old friends were there.

I've never had a dream about any of my other jobs. I've had people I work with appear in dreams, but I've never actually dreamed about being at work. Isn't that weird? And here I am, over 10 years later, still dreaming about making pizzas.

Is Lady Gaga a Man?

This is what popped up in my Google search field when I typed in "is." And it makes sense you know? I mean think of all the people typing in questions on Google search. It's pretty much guaranteed that the #1 question starting with the word "is" is, "Is Lady Gaga a Man?" Also, in case you're wondering, the #2 phrase that popped up was "is Lady Gaga a hermaphrodite" and #3 phrase was "is the world going to end in 2012." Apparently people are really worried/curious about some crazy crap.

And because this post is inherently weird, I thought I'd top it off with a video. Seth and I somehow found this video the other day (probably after asking Google if Lady Gaga is a man). I had this song stuck in my head for days. Enjoy. (p.s. Christopher Walken is in it)


Lady Gaga Vs Christopher Walken-Poker Face(Mashup) - The best bloopers are a click away

I AM a Genius!

So remember a week or so ago when I said I discovered the secret power nymphing setup on the Weber River? Turns out I was right! This setup not only worked the day I discovered it, but it's worked several times afterwards! Do you know what this means?! It means I look like I know what I'm talking about! That hardly ever happens! (ok it actually happens a lot, I was just trying to be modest.)

A beautiful rainbow caught by Seth on a Prince Nymph pattern we call the "Green Hornet"*

*Hand-tied fly by Seth "The Fly Master" Hanson

They're at it Again

It's 1:00am and I stumble out of bed in the dark and head to the bathroom. Shouldn't have had that extra glass of water before bed. I close the door to the bathroom and flip on the light. As I'm sitting there pondering the meaning of life and minding my own business, I see some movement in the bathtub and the hairs raise on the back of my neck. It's a big bad wolf spider, and it's climbing out of the tub.

I'm mid-stream when this is all happening and I finish my business as quickly as possible so I can get out of the way of my quickly approaching attacker. I'm ill equipped in my sleeping garb and bare feet. I look around me straining to find some sort of weapon. Seth is sleeping soundly in the room next to me, unaware of the terrifying event taking place.

I grab the first viable option I see: a can of hairspray. I stand back and spray the emerging spider and it falls back into the bottom of the tub. I rush forward as fast as possible and turn the water on, furiously trying to splash this huge monster in an attempt to wash it back down the dark drain where it surely came from.

But, to my horror, I am too slow. He has escaped my drowning attempts and made his way over to the shower curtain. I try to pull it away before it can climb up and into the curtain's protective folds, but again I am too late.

For several minutes I dart forward and back, pulling at the outside curtain, trying futilely to find the chill inducing Houdini. After a few tries I finally catch a glimpse of the spider. He is half-way up the curtain. I jump back and grab the hairspray again. I pelt the curtain with the spray, but it does nothing. The attacker is safely tucked back into one of the large folds in the curtain. And then I lose him again.

I stand there on the cold floor frozen in fear. What am I going to do? I can't just let this spider get away. He is sure to attack me again in the morning and I will never sleep knowing there is a large hairy wolf spider roaming freely. I make a final decision. I need reinforcements.

I open the door to the bathroom and let the light shine into the bedroom. Seth is lying on his back and I can't tell if he is still asleep or not. I slowly climb onto the bed on all fours, staring down at him, studying his eyelids to see if they are cracked open. Suddenly Seth is startled awake by my presence. "What's going on? What time is it?" he says in a cranky voice, obviously disturbed from a restful state. "THERE'S A BIG GIANT SPIDER IN THE BATHROOM AND IT'S LOST IN THE SHOWER CURTAIN AND I NEED YOU TO KILL IT!" I say in desperation. My knight in shining armor immediately gets out of the warm cocoon of soft bedding and heads into the bright bathroom to rid me of my attacker.

I tell him the spider is near the top of the inside curtain and he pulls it open to look. Suddenly the spider climbs over the top of the shower rod and is just inches away from Seth. "AH!! IT'S RIGHT THERE! IT'S RIGHT THERE!" I half-scream. Seth steps back in a non-phased manner and grabs a couple sheets of toilet paper. Toilet Paper. This brave brave man is using toilet paper to kill a WOLF SPIDER. He grabs the spider and then opens the tissue to make sure the spider was killed/captured. It is still alive and starts climbing out, but no matter, he nonchalantly wraps it back up again. "THROW IN IT IN TOILET QUICK!!" I yell, obviously more alarmed than Seth. He slowly opens the lid and throws it in. "HURRY FLUSH IT!!" Seth, flushes the toilet and the spider is gone. "You're my hero" I say as I hug my sleepy husband. He chuckles at my insanity and climbs back in bed. I climb in after him and snuggle up. This is my spider killer. My wonderful spider killing husband.

Of Course I Know What I'm Doing

I finally did it. I came up with the ultimate fish-killer fly setup. Sure, it might have taken me several hours of switching things up before I made my discovery, but I did it. I made this amazing discovery last weekend on the Weber River by Coalville. The sun was shining, the wind was calm and I found a nice deep riffle where I could tell the fish were sure to be hanging out, waiting for the next meal to come along.

I tied on a bright orange San Juan worm with a gold bead (#12 I think?) and a couple feet below that I tied on an olive Prince Nymph (I'd guess a #16). BAM! I got a nice fat 18" rainbow on my Prince Nymph. A couple more casts and BAM! a beautiful brown on the worm. One after the other I was catching big 'ol fish... a handful of rainbows, a brown and even a whitey. It was a great day.

Well I did what anybody else in my shoes would do in this situation... go back for more the next day! Same sunny nice weather, same hole, same flies. Nothing. Nada. Zip. The whole day.

So I found the secret fish-killer fly setup, but it only worked one time. It still counts, right? Although I can pretty much guarantee this will now be my go-to nymphing setup. That's what always happens. I had a lucky bite from a huge rainbow on a giant foam white and yellow Chernobyl Ant once. I was actually just using it as a strike indicator because it was the biggest thing in my box, but somehow it worked! Now it's my favorite fly. My "power fly." I've risked life and limb to rescue it from trees and bushes up high and deep in the water. I've only caught that one fish with it, but it's my lucky fly and I know one of these days it's got to work again... right?

Today's Special: Nov. 8-14th

I can't remember if I got lazy last week or just had lots of leftovers, but I didn't get around to making a few of the recipes I had planned. So, there's only going to be a couple recipes planned for this week.

Also, just so you know, I made a little substitution on the Chicken, Shrimp & Andouille Jambalaya recipe from last week and I think it turned out even better than before. First of all, I actually found the boneless, skinless chicken thighs it calls for in the recipe so I used those instead of the chicken breasts I have used in the past. HUGE difference. The thighs aren't near as dry as the breasts are and I thought they had a lot better flavor. I also couldn't find the andouille sausage at the grocery store and was too lazy to make an extra trip to the butcher shop where I got it before, so I just used summer sausage. It was so good! Not near as strong of a flavor as the andouille... more subtle and not so spicy, which in this case I liked better. I also liked the texture of the summer sausage better.

This weeks' recipes:

Thai Chicken & Coconut Soup- This is a new recipe. Seth got a jar of lemongrass from a lady he works with and I wanted to try it out in something.

Roasted Lemongrass Chicken (with Sweet Lime Sauce)- New recipe that I'll probably make the same night as the soup above.

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to make anything else this week, so I'll just stop there. This should give you a couple new ideas to try. And just to see if anybody is actually reading this, have you guys ever made any of the recipes I've posted? If so, which ones, and what did you think?

Nothing Really

So I've been in the blogging mood these last few days, but I've got a little bit of writer's block. So I'll just ramble about nothing for a minute.

For any of you who were curious, I didn't win anything for my Sarah Palin costume at work. Big jerk faces. I probably just didn't campaign hard enough. Several supporters have voiced their disappointment & surprise at my loss. I think maybe it's best I take some time off and concentrate on my family and work on my book. There's more fame and fortune true happiness in that anyway.

Also, I've got this weird phenomenon going on with me. I've been drinking water pretty regularly now for the last few months. Before this I didn't drink much of anything and I didn't ever feel thirsty. Now whenever I drink water it makes me more thirsty. I could drink my whole bottle of water and still feel extremely thirsty. How is that possible? I mean it wouldn't be so bad if I could drink that much water and still be a productive member of society, but having to run to the bathroom every half hour gets little old. And then it makes people think I must have some kind of bowel issues. Which I don't. Really.

Lately we've been getting a lot of catalogs in the mail (OK there's only 3 and two of them were from Cabelas). Last night Seth told me I should go through them and circle everything in there that I liked so he could have some ideas for Christmas. I'm all for helping people figure out what to get for me, even though Seth always does a good job. Plus I'm usually surprised still because there's several items to choose from.

So I sat on the couch with my red Sharpie and started flipping through the pages. The L.L. Bean catalog was first and they had some cute hoodie jackets in there but they were like $50! $50 for a hoodie? That's insane! So I went on to the next catalog which was the Cabelas Christmas catalog. Of course I circled the camo bedspread set with matching curtains. And I was tempted to circle the meat and cheese sets or the pheasant roast, because they seriously looked really good. Then the sleeping bags looked really nice, but who wants to get a sleeping bag from their husband for Christmas? Turns out finding your own present is hard. I didn't make it to the last catalog which was the Cabelas Fly-Fishing Catalog. I think maybe there'll be something more my style in there, but we'll see. Other people always think of way better stuff to get me than I think of, and half the time they've made it themselves! I'm not very creative at gift giving. Well, actually, I wouldn't say I'm not very creative at gift giving, it's just that all the things I think of are way too expensive. I need to work on having cheaper taste in merchandise. Or expand my crafting abilities.

A Dream Come True

At the last minute as I was getting ready for work on Friday, I decided to dress up for Halloween. I think it turned out pretty good. And I got to spend the day dressed up as my idol. (yes I know the picture sucks, it's the best I could do)

"For those of you playing a drinking game at home.... MAVERICK."

*Ms. Palin is not really my idol. That was sarcasm.

p.s. Notice the thumb-tuck. Sigh.