Conversation With A Mildly Crazy Man in the Checkout Line at Walmart

Crazy Man: Oh sorry, I always forget to put that thing (divider bar) on the end of my stuff.

Me: That's ok, I always forget that one too.

Crazy Man: Some people come up and start loading their stuff really close to mine so you can't tell where my stuff ends and theirs starts so I push it back a little and they always freak out and say "What the hell? Why are you touching my stuff?" And then I'm like, "I'm not paying for it! Scoot back!" and then they get all pissed off even though it was their fault!

Me: Yeah people can get kind of touchy about that kind of thing.

Crazy Man: Well you're nice. You seem like a respectable person. I'm always talking to people in the checkout line and some people are like, "Why are you talking to me?" and it's like, dude, SORRY! I didn't know it was against the rules to be nice to people in the checkout line.

Me: *Courtesy Laugh*

Crazy Man: Yeah and some women are like "I'm Married" and I'm like I'm not asking you on a date I'm just TALKING. Geez! But you seem respectable.

Me: *Laughing* Yeah don't talk to me I'M MARRIED. Ha ha ha!

Crazy Man: Dude did you hear about Bret Michaels? The lead singer from Poison? (as he points to a People magazine). He almost DIED!

Me: Oh yeah that was crazy.

Crazy Man: I'm mean he's really lucky. He was almost a goner. I heard he said that he just kept thinking about his daughter and he had to stay alive for her. But man I'm such a 80s rock fan, you know? I love all of em... Styx, White Snake, Rush, Boston, you name it. But that Aerosmith is my man. He's freakin awesome. He rocks so hard.

(His stuff is now checked and the agitated checker is waiting for him to leave while starting to scan my stuff).

But yeah that Bret Michaels I'm glad he's alright. That was scary.

Me: Oh yeah.

Crazy Man: Ok well take it easy!

Me: Yeah, see ya later.