Then I Wake Up & Realize it Was All Just a Bad Dream

It is approximately 10 miles from my desk at work to the cafeteria... give or take a couple miles. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. In fact I enjoy a leisurely stroll every now and then to stretch my legs and get a glass of water.

There's one part of the path to the cafeteria that can be a bit awkward for a socially inept person like me. After making a couple short turns to get out of my little office area, I'm faced with a very long hallway. Not just any hallway. This hallway reminds me of the ones they show in horror movies... you know what I mean... some disheveled girl is limping down a long corridor lined with closed doors and as she runs the hallway just gets longer and longer while some crazy lunatic is at her heels trying to chop her up with an axe. Yeah, this hallway is just like that. Except worse.

Because almost every time I walk down this hallway, there is one single person walking towards me. Once this person is about 40 yards away, they're close enough to make eye contact. Do I have to maintain eye contact this whole distance? If I look away or look down, do I come off as snobbish? At what point do I smile? 20 yards? 5 feet? Do I hold the smile the whole time? The situation is escalated if it's someone I know, which is about 50% of the time. When is it appropriate to say 'hi'? I've had people say hi to me when they're oh, a good 25 yards out. Isn't that a little extreme? You can hold an entire 10 minute conversation just as you're passing!

There's probably at least a good 30% or more of you reading this that are wondering why I would ever even worry about such a thing. You're the percent of the population that would be deemed an "extrovert." You never give a second thought to these situations because they just come naturally to you. I, on the other hand, am an extremely introverted person. I worry about these things. I'm the kind of person that dreads talking on the phone, even to my own family members because I'm sure I won't have enough things to talk about and will come off as boring or disinterested. Welcome to my world. The world of a girl who is almost 30 years old and doesn't know how to walk past people in a hallway or talk on the phone.

One Fry Short of a Happy Meal

So I was sitting here today trying to think of all my weird quirks and habits. I'm sure I've missed some, but these are the ones I came up with...

1. I bite my lips and the insides of my cheeks all the time. I'm sure I look like an idiot.

2. I sigh. It sounds like I'm upset. But I'm not. I don't even notice I'm doing it most of the time.

3. I don't drink any beverages with my meals. I usually have one, but I just don't drink it til I'm done with my food. Where this came from or why I do it is a mystery.

4. Whenever I'm listening to a radio station that gets dull (i.e. war talk on NPR) I loudly say "BOR-RING!" and change the channel. Even when I'm alone.

5. I have to have my hair cut by the same person every time. It's very stressful for me to switch hair stylists.

6. I don't like the "free samples" people in grocery stores. I don't think I've taken a free sample for a long time. It's really awkward. You stand there and eat whatever product they give you while they stare. Then you have to come up with something to say like, "huh, interesting" then find a way to leave without buying said product. It makes me feel piggish and guilty. So, whenever I walk by them, I look the other way like I'm staring down the isle looking for something and didn't see them there.

7. I NEVER answer my phone when I don't recognize the phone number. EVER.

8. I NEVER answer the door when I'm not aware of anyone coming over. Though, I'm usually curious enough to look through the peep hole. I don't care if they know I'm home or not. I continue to play the piano or watch TV at normal levels as if the person isn't there. So don't stop by without calling first!

9. I'm constantly checking to make sure the fly on my pants is closed. Even on pants that have no fly. Along those same lines, I'm also very paranoid about having stuff in my teeth, boogers flying out of my nose and bad breath. I constantly check the mirror in my purse (or the shiny part on my phone) to make sure I don't have any embarrassing wayward particles on my face and I always have gum with me.

10. Somehow, I am unable to finish the laundry. Whatever gets washed last does not get completely put away until the next time I do laundry.

So those are the things I can remember right now. Do you have any weird quirks or habits?

Thumb Tucker

No, the title of this blog is not a typo. It's not supposed to say 'Thumb Sucker.'

About a year ago one of my fellow co-workers at Lumenis, Linda, pointed something out to me that I'd never noticed. She asked me why I walked around with my fists balled up and my thumb tucked in. I'd never realized I'd done it and to this day I don't know why I do it. I guess it's just another random habit. Every once in a while I'll look down and notice that I'm doing it again and silently curse Linda for making me aware of it. Maybe I'm afraid of my thumbs getting cold. Maybe I'm unconsciously scared they'll get cut off. Who knows. Anyway, after looking at the pictures from New Year's over at Rachel's house, I noticed there was only one picture of me and I was tucking in my thumbs, yet again.

Hello, my name is Karen and I'm a Thumb Tucker.