Running with the Loogyman

It's only mile one in the 10K but already I'm dreading the next five miles. Sure, the race is going to be tough, but I never planned for this. I've heard about these sorts of people but have yet to encounter one in real life. I've managed to fall into my running rhythm right behind him: The Loogyman.

Loogyman is a middle-aged guy. He's wearing a red sleeveless shirt and running shorts and looks like every other male runner out here (except for that one guy with the appallingly short flappy shorts *shudder*). And yet, he's not normal. Not normal by a long shot. And I'm stuck here running with him, against my will.

Every fifteen seconds or so I hear "HAACK SNORT PHLOOP!" as Loogyman hocks yet another loogy. Mile after mile this putrid man jabs at my gag reflexes making me wish I'd chosen to run the short children's race instead. But no. I'm here. Dodging loogies.

At around mile two or three I finally catch up to Loogyman. And then I pass him. And then I can't hear his loogies anymore. But then it's mile four and Loogyman is catching up again. I hear the dreaded sound behind me... HAACK SNORT PHLOOP! HAACK SNORT PHLOOP!!  NO! Loogyman is catching up with me!

My tired legs can't run any faster and soon Loogyman is on my heels. Then we are neck and neck. Then he passes me. It's mile 5 and Loogyman passes me. He is slowly gaining ground and I soon realize it is impossible. Loogyman is going to beat me. Did you hear me?! I said I GOT BEAT BY LOOGYMAN!

I still have a good half mile or so to go when I come to terms with this shameful truth. It is something I'm just going to have to accept. As I come down the home stretch I see strangers cheering me on. Then I see friends and family cheering me on. I kick it into high gear and finish with a burst of speed: 56:36... I've done it in under an hour. And I feel a sudden euphoria of pride and joy.

As I come through the chute and catch my breath, I see the familiar outline of a stranger. It's Loogyman... My Running Nemesis. "You beat me this time old man," I think to myself, "but next time you won't be so lucky. I'll be back for more and when that time comes, I'm going to smoke your Loogyman butt."

More Torture? Sure! Where Do I Sign Up?

So I know you're all out there wondering how the 5k went this weekend (just humor me OK?). We only got a couple pictures because somebody forgot they brought a camera and didn't take any pictures of the post-race. (Sorry Annie, you can wear your race outfit with bib number on Sunday when we come over and I'll take a picture of you and you can pretend it was from race day).

This is Seth showing off his muscles.

This is my "hurry up and take the picture, I'm freezing" smile.

Seth took off like a rocket as soon as they blew the start whistle. He got a new PR out of it though. He wondered why he felt so crappy the whole time and it was because he was running way faster than he normally does. Looks like he's just a fierce competitor! His time was 25:17 and he took 4th in his age group.

I also got a new PR (27:46) and finished 4th in my age group. I'm getting better! I know this is going to sound terrible, but the best part of this race was passing all the little elementary school kids. I can run longer and faster than a kid! HA! Just kidding. But those kids are funny though. They'd get tired and walk and as soon as you came up next to them they'd start running again for a few steps and then stop after you got ahead of them a few paces. Don't worry, I kept the taunting to a minimum.

Seth and I decided we should do another practice race before we do our 1/2 marathon in September. So, we signed up for the Scenic River Classic 10K in Idaho Falls next month. They also have a 5K run, a 5k walk and a kids run which I believe is a mile, so feel free to choose the race that suits you best and come join us!