As you may or may not be aware, Seth and I choose to spend most of our "extra" money on fishing stuff. Most of this fishing stuff comes from Cabelas. I usually make the actual purchases of these things because I like to. I think it's fun. We have a "rewards" card in my name... not a credit card, just a card that racks up points whenever I buy something. So that after I spend about a million dollars on stuff, I get about $1 worth of store credit. Or something like that.
So as would be expected, I began to get Cabelas catalogs in the mail. At first they were small. A short compilation of their general offerings. Then the catalogs got a bit bigger. A more thorough overview of Cabelas merchandise. Then the catalogs were the same size, just more specific. We'd get one big catalog of just fly-fishing stuff or fishing stuff or camping stuff. Then yesterday I opened up the mailbox and found this...
That's right my friends. A 1 1/2" thick HARD BOUND Cabelas catalog. It looks like one of Seth's textbooks from school. It even has tabbed sections. You know, to help me quickly find the category of goods I'm looking for. This is the most insane thing I've ever seen. But I can't help but think it's kind of awesome. And Seth is totally jealous that it came in my name. I know, I know, they pulled my name off a list of "big spenders" and said hey, I bet this shmuck will totally buy more of our crap if we make her feel like she's a special customer. But I can see through their scheme. I'm not going to buy more stuff from them just because they sent me this awesome catalog. I'm not falling for their "special" trick.
Although, I do wonder What's Next? I mean, what could possibly top the textbook catalog? What do their super amazing moneybags customers get? Do they send a private jet and a personal shopping guide to their homes to pick them up and physically take them to their stores to buy things? I mean, it would be a genius plan. Who wouldn't feel pressured into buying something after a sweet jet ride and a personal shopping guide looking over their shoulder? Everyone would. That's why it's such a great plan. But that's ok, I'll take their free jet ride. I need to get a couple new fly rods anyway.
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4 comments:
Holy Cow! How much money have you spent at Cabellas? I was laughing so hard at this post. You are hilarious. I agree, private jet for Karen and Seth sounds nice. I bet they'd still make money off of you...it'd be a win, win.
Karen, you are ADORABLE. Or, in Paul's words, "That Karen is a RIOT!" You're incorrigibly cute. And incorrigibly sweet. Anyone care to disagree?!
They'd have to be incorrigibly disagreeable, to do so. That's what I think.
(Generally, I only write things that I think. Although sometimes I try out ideas I don't actually think, when I'm being funny. But I meant everything I said here. Today I'm being incorrigibly sincere.)
Wow, you know what's the scariest thing about that catalogue? It's a LIMITED edition. I don't know if that means only a few were printed, or that some merch didn't make it in. I suspect both. When you get a chance, buy me a backpacking stove! The most expensive one!
Paul is seriously crazy about stoves, by the way. He's started stealing his fellow employees' used pop cans in order to try and make lightweight backingpacking stoves.
I think he's been sniffing the fumes from the fuel. :)
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