Tuesday, March 9, 2010

What's That on Your Head?

For those of you who may be unaware... I'm a girl. I have been since I can remember... and probably way before that. The facts being as they are, you would think I'd be able to do girl things. Things that seem to be so much more instinctual and natural for most other girls out there. Most of you are probably thinking, "She's definitely got a particular girl skill on her mind... just spit it out already!" Well ok then. I will.

Ever since I was a kid I've had the hardest time doing my hair. And I don't mean I have a lack of motivation (most of the time). I like my hair to look nice. I try to do my hair. But I swear I lack the most basic of skills to do so. I remember trying to do the '80s bangs in elementary school. I'd curl my bangs, brush them up into the famous '80s pouf and hit it with a bunch of hairspray. Five minutes later I had a flat row of bangs that looked like a matted half-pipe. All my little friends had bangs that looked perfectly puffy all day long.

Then I got a perm. I was unaware of the need for things like hair gel, or any sort of styling product for that matter. My hair would look great when I first got back from the stylist, but forever after that it'd be a head full of fuzz. How was I supposed to know that I couldn't brush my hair out during the day?

In high school I finally grew out the perm and the bangs (you don't even want to know what that transition period looked like). I would try to make my hair smooth and turned under like the other girls but to no avail. No sooner would I finish curling it under then it would flip into random directions looking like I'd purposely made one giant strand of hair boing out the back of my head. Not cute.

My hair has improved a little with time (and the discovery of the straightening iron) and the concerted effort I make to watch the professionals at work. Even this has proved harder than I thought it would be. I've learned how to use a round brush to blow-dry my hair without getting it stuck... even the back. Though, it still never looks as good as when it's professionally done. And, well this is a bit embarrassing to admit, but I don't know how to "tease" my hair to get it to look voluminous. I had to ask my current stylist, Tawnya, how to do it. She was very patient and showed me how to do it correctly. When she was finished, it looked great. When I tried it the next day, my head looked like a box. I've tried to practice since then, but have finally come to the conclusion that I will never have hair teasing as one of my great talents, unless you count "Hey Hair... why the long face?" HA!

I recently had my hair chopped pretty short... well short for me. When I first got it cut, Tawnya used the straightening iron to put cute little curls in the bottom. She showed me how to do it and made it look so easy. So, of course I tried to do the same thing the next day. It didn't work. Not even close. So now I have to straighten my hair otherwise it looks like a rat's nest, though the straight look isn't much better as it's just a short skip away from a bad mullet. I've been watching YouTube videos today of girls demonstrating how to curl hair with a straightening iron. It looks easy. I'm hopeful. Although that's what I thought when Tawnya showed me how so I'm a little apprehensive about trying it again. If this doesn't work I'm going to have to keep my hair in a ponytail until it grows out a little more and I can go back to using my tried-and-true velcro rollers (yes I tried those with this new 'do... somehow they're not working!). So keep your fingers crossed, this may get ugly.


Melissa said...

You are so hilarious!! I seriously find myself laughing out loud at your one-liners.

I never remember your hair looking even close to bad when we were growing up. Does that mean my hair was hideous?

Mastering the round brush HUGE. Way to go! I've found it just takes practice to figure out how my hair reacts to certain styling techniques so don't give up, especially if the cut is still less then two weeks old. It usually takes 2 weeks before my hair settles into a new cut.

I want to see pictures!!

Holly said...

I feel your pain - I have no hair styling abilities to speak of.

I'm impressed with your ability to use the round brush (the only time I ever tried it was on my sister and I got it stuck, so that meant I kept it away from my head) and velcro rollers. You're leaps and bounds ahead of me! If you figure out teasing, please give me a call.

heidi said...

Oh, I know what you mean! I always felt style-developmentally-delayed in school. Or, hair-retarded. I'm not sure what the p.c. term is.

I think maybe it's hereditary. My dad dressed me in plaid pants and striped shirts when I was little. I think I didn't stand a chance, in the face of that genetic heritage. But I eventually got the hang of curling and braiding and that makes me happy. It's also almost comforting to know that you struggle--you, Karen, whose hair always looks fabulous!

Speaking of FABULOUS--love the new header thingamabob! And the pictures! It's all so Karen-y!


It's Me said...

That is one thing I'm jealous of is "hair people". I would love to have great hair and know what to do with it. I'm pretty sure that this is a talent is not in our gene pool. However, out of the sisters - you definately have the best hair. It is nice and smooth and shiny. Even as a kid you looked good (you have to take into consideration the hair of all of your friends who also had permed hair).

Rindlisbach Family said...

Love the new design!! And I loved your post. Don't you remember all my hair dilemas in junior high and highschool? I swear I have had a permanent bad hair day my whole life!! Plus, nonw I have a little girl -- and trying to do her hair is an absolute disaster. I just can't win. But if it makes you feel better, I always loved your hair. It always looked good.

Oh, by the way, I am going to try to make your banana pie tonight -- never made a pie in my life, so hopefully it works!!

heidi said...

See--EVERYBODY thinks you have great hair!

And loves your new design!

And wants to make all your recipes.

You're IT, aren't you? :D