Friday, May 14, 2010

Conversation With A Mildly Crazy Man in the Checkout Line at Walmart

Crazy Man: Oh sorry, I always forget to put that thing (divider bar) on the end of my stuff.

Me: That's ok, I always forget that one too.

Crazy Man: Some people come up and start loading their stuff really close to mine so you can't tell where my stuff ends and theirs starts so I push it back a little and they always freak out and say "What the hell? Why are you touching my stuff?" And then I'm like, "I'm not paying for it! Scoot back!" and then they get all pissed off even though it was their fault!

Me: Yeah people can get kind of touchy about that kind of thing.

Crazy Man: Well you're nice. You seem like a respectable person. I'm always talking to people in the checkout line and some people are like, "Why are you talking to me?" and it's like, dude, SORRY! I didn't know it was against the rules to be nice to people in the checkout line.

Me: *Courtesy Laugh*

Crazy Man: Yeah and some women are like "I'm Married" and I'm like I'm not asking you on a date I'm just TALKING. Geez! But you seem respectable.

Me: *Laughing* Yeah don't talk to me I'M MARRIED. Ha ha ha!

Crazy Man: Dude did you hear about Bret Michaels? The lead singer from Poison? (as he points to a People magazine). He almost DIED!

Me: Oh yeah that was crazy.

Crazy Man: I'm mean he's really lucky. He was almost a goner. I heard he said that he just kept thinking about his daughter and he had to stay alive for her. But man I'm such a 80s rock fan, you know? I love all of em... Styx, White Snake, Rush, Boston, you name it. But that Aerosmith is my man. He's freakin awesome. He rocks so hard.

(His stuff is now checked and the agitated checker is waiting for him to leave while starting to scan my stuff).

But yeah that Bret Michaels I'm glad he's alright. That was scary.

Me: Oh yeah.

Crazy Man: Ok well take it easy!

Me: Yeah, see ya later.


Budsly said...

I may be rude, but I'm one of those that just doesn't talk much to people in line. I mostly just nod and smile if they start talking to me.

It's Me said...

Yeah, I talk to people in line sometimes, but I try to tone down my crazy side. Usually I'm joking and they don't know me so they aren't sure if I'm serious or not. I am now thinking I probably come off just like the crazy guy that talked to you! For instance, sometimes I say, "Wow, too bad I don't live at your house!" This is mainly when they've stocked up on Oreos, ice cream, or donuts. Is that weird? (I mean me, not them) (Stocking up on junk food is soooo normal) I've also noticed that older people are friendly and talkative but it goes downhill the younger they get. Annie, I've gotten the nod and smile. It makes me feel bad. :(

Luckily for all those involved I'm usually just trying to keep the kids in check long enough to get out of the store. Not much time for chit chat when your kids are trying to open candy bars and are swinging on the railings, Oh and saying "Can I have this?" every few seconds. Good thing they are adorable!

It's Me said...

Oh, and since I'm on a roll...I also try to talk to the checkout clerks. If I'm the one stocking up on cookies or soda. I'll say something like, "Just had to make sure I had the essentials! Ha! Ha!"

I'm super friendly huh? I have made many good store clerk friends, well okay, no friends that are store clerks, but I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

Karen said...

I don't really get people talking to me much except maybe the checkout clerks. Usually they're asking me what the crazy produce item is that I purchased and what the heck you use it for. Then there's "Randy." He's this nice old man that wears wide green suspenders and he always hands me my receipt and says "Here's your one-of-a-kind Walmart bookmark" or "Your total today with tax and tip is $xxx... and the tip of the day is keep your feet dry out there."

I don't really ever initiate conversations with people at the store (you know me, I'm a chatterbox), but I always try to at least smile and say hi to the checkers. So many people are grouchy or ignore them.

Rachel said...

I love the crazies.

And you, Corinne. When I was a cashier, I loved the chatters. It was nice to make a connection.