Thursday, January 12, 2012

Week 6: Small Pea

Written week of December 4, 2011

All of my week 5 symptoms continue... the sore bewbs, the mild constant nausea, the unending thirstiness... although I'm happy to say my skin is clearing up and looking better.

The hardest thing for me lately is not enjoying food like I used to. These days it's a way to try and control the nausea, though most of it isn't very appealing. I've found I have a particular aversion to chicken (even more so than usual, and especially RAW chicken... yuck) and cooked vegetables (esp. tomatoes) sound horrible. It's hard to plan my weekly menus when nothing sounds very good. The foods that have kept me going are turkey sandwiches, toast, fruit juice (orange in particular), fruit,  egg & cheese burritos, and anything dairy, especially cheese & yogurt. Water also doesn't sound very appealing, though I try to drink it as much as I can. I'd much rather have a Sprite or fruit juice, though I try to limit those because of the sugar. It's not that I crave all these foods, they're just the ones that seem least repulsive. The good news is, I don't seem to have the same intense hunger emotions as I did last week... meaning the despair and crazy need to EAT RIGHT NOW. It is a little difficult for me to feel mildly sick all the time though... I'm so used to never having any ailments.

I've also noticed that I don't really feel like doing anything. I've lost interest in blogging and cooking and just being productive in general. I swear I spend about a million hours a day on the internets or watching tv, though I don't really enjoy it all that much. Doing nothing and doing something both sound not fun. I think I need to start forcing myself to do things more often or it'll just get worse.

One note of bad news this week: Seth's grandpa died, so we'll be going to his funeral on Friday. This also means a reschedule of the first ultrasound, so we won't be seeing anything until next week. Nothing like anticipation. I still really worry about our little pea, hoping this one will hang on for the long haul. But so far so good...


Denise said...

Maybe the aversion to chicken is genetic. I don't mind Kentucky Fried Chicken. Don't love it but when I was pregnant the smell made me so sick. I remember that Dad brought some home when I was pregnant with Corinne and I had to head for the bathroom. The body does weird things. I also remember working and being at my desk thinking that all I wanted to do was sleep! It's all worth it though. Look at my wonderfully cute daughters :)

heidi said...

These preganancy posts strike me as such sublimely special posts.

I worked hard on that sentence and I'm still not sure those words adequately convey my feeling--of these messages being superlatively sweetly beautifully special, and also of having a private internal quality unlike that of your typical posts.

The "doing nothing and doing something both sound not fun" struck me as SUCH an accurate description of what it has felt like to me when I have been (clinically) depressed. Not saying that you are--I was just really interested in the coincidence. I wonder if it's tied to hormones--pregnancy is full of that, right? And I wonder if that's an explanation of depression, too. The feelings-caused-by-hormones connection is probably far stronger than I realize most of the time. When you're having them, it feels like your (I mean mine, or one's) feelings must be coming from somewhere real but with any kind of distance, it's obvious that so many are related to temporary things (like hunger or tiredness) or even wacked-out things (like crazy fears or crazy overblown reactions). I'll have to add crazy hormones to the list. Not sure why all this came up--I guess maybe I mentioned all that because the whole thing of having these feelings that don't accurately reflect reality feels like such a BETRAYAL to me.

Although that's depression, not prenancy! It does sounds like pregnancy involves a not insignificant amount of weird feelings and body betrayal, though.

I guess it's good you know WHY it's happening! Otherwise it would seem like a bloated alien was inhabiting your midsection. One that considered human food lethal. And, alternately, desperately necessary.

Last things:
I'm glad your little pea is hanging on. (!)

I LOVED your mom's comment.

I'm sorry to hear about Seth's grandpa. :(